Carefully Woven

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on

by Craig Merrell

In today’s media and image driven world, it is easy to fall victim to depression, ridicule, and self-doubt. I grew up comparing myself to many different people. How my friends acted shaped the way I dressed and responded. My low self esteem made me believe my friends were smarter and better than me. There were so many things that kept me tossing back and forth on my emotional self esteem journey. One day I would muster up enough self love to like who I was but in an instant those questions would pop back up and cause me to fall back into self loathing. Today, I feel that my life as a young man was not too different than most of my friends.

In 1990 my life changed when I surrendered my life to the most amazing love and acceptance I have ever known. The love of Jesus that I began to experience was and is unconditional, selfless, and fulfilling. After 22 years of self doubt, I began to pour my life into studying God’s word. I understood that my identity should be in how Jesus views me, and not what others think about me. Though God’s faithfulness, I have come a long way in my transformation. However, I still have a long way to go. Each day, I press forward and lean into God’s word to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. That is a daily task! So lets dive into these two verses in Psalms 139:13-14, they encompass how God views his children. (us!)

“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.

Psalms 139

First lets’ establish some facts about our creator, God. He created the world, land and sea, all the animals, and Adam & Eve. His creation is amazing! In the same way that he created all things in the beginning, he also created you and I without a blemish. God formed my inward parts and wove me in my mother’s womb. When I read about forming and weaving it reminds me of the time I spent after school with my mother at the county senior citizens center where she was the activities director. They had several activities for the seniors- quilting, a loom for rug making, crocheting, and other crafts. I was amazed at the time and detail it took these ladies to quilt, weave, and crochet beautiful arts of work. In the same way that these women at the senior center were intensional with their work, God was intentional and specific in forming and weaving you and I in our mothers womb.

No matter what imperfection you think you have, God does not see you as imperfect. For we are fearfully and wonderfully made. All of God’s works are wonderful. Why do we so quickly forget how God views us and fall right back to self doubt, worthlessness, and insecurity? When I read these verses, I know without a doubt that God formed me, created me, and designed me to be the man he wanted me to be. We must transform our minds in order to maintain a godly self image by being focused on how God views me and not on peoples opinions. We must train our minds to know deeply that I’m wonderfully made. I recently heard this statement, “Stop trying and start training.” God calls us to train ourselves to change our mind and actions to become more Christ like.

Phil. 2:12   Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

God formed us and wove us in our mothers womb, He wonderfully made us, and Christ restored us with his blood. Now our turn is to start training and take advantage of the opportunity that God has given us. To live our life God’s way and not the way of the world.

Spiritual training should be more important than physical training. You can not turn on the TV without seeing some type of add for a gym membership, weight loss program, or at home fitness equipment. The fitness business makes approximately 95 billion dollars annually. What if we approached our spiritual training the same way as we do physical?

A good way to begin is to start small and build up. No one goes out to run a marathon without training. In the same way, you should start small and develop your time with the Lord. Start with committing 30 minutes each morning with God. Here are a sample of things you can to do with your time alone with God.

Get alone with God – Throughout scripture Jesus takes time to find time to be alone with His Father. We too need that time. Take the first 5 minutes to pray and ask God to help you focus on him. Find a quiet place away from distractions. (Matthew 6:6)

God’s Word – Pick a book of the bible that you would like to study. Don’t feel like you need to read several chapters at a time. I would take small sections of each chapter and read it several times. Take time to study the scripture. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

Journaling – Don’t skip this part! Write down what the Lord is teaching you and what you are praying for. (Joshua 1:8)

Pray like ACTS – This is a simple way to learn how to pray. It is modeled after Luke 11:1-13, when Jesus taught his disciples how to pray.

Now you can start the process of transforming the way you view of yourself to the way God views you. Each day that you spend with the Lord will allow you the opportunity to learn more about Him and develop your relationship with your perfect father, God.

These two verses are great reminders that God desires for us to have a close relationship with Him.

Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

James 4:8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

God wonderfully made us and gave us the right to have a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ. Don’t listen to what the world tells you about self-worth. God loves his creation and wants you to know and love him as well. Our role is to enjoy the blessing of having God as our Heavenly Father.

Craig Merrell– Redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus Christ. Husband, father, business man, and passionate outdoorsman. 

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